Hudson's Birth
I was so excited to be pregnant. I thought I'd be so cute. Honestly? I was not! LOL No shame either. I didn't show nearly as much as I thought I would or like other people do. Seriously. 39 weeks I was the same size as most women at the middle of their 2 trimester. Hudson carried very much in my back. Although I didn't show as much as I wanted to, my pregnancy was amazing. I didn't get nauseous or morning sickness once. I did lose my appetite during my first trimester. And I literally can't eat if I don't want to. So I had a hard time eating. But my sweet husband would constantly drive me around to find anything that sounded good.
So I went into one of my Dr. appointments at 39 weeks and was checked to see how much I was dilated. I had been having some pretty intense Braxton hicks. My Dr. checked me and said I was 3 cm dilated. He was so excited & my Dr. isn't very expressive. But he excitedly told me Hudson's head was very low & my water was going to break at any moment now & I wouldn't make it past the weekend. Garrett and I nearly freaked out. Although I was trying not to get my hopes up. Both of my older sisters also went to my Dr. and one of my sister's was told she was dilated 3 cm but stayed there for 2 weeks. But my sister pointed out that I was farther along and was told Hudson was low and my water was going to break so it meant a little more.
For the rest of the day I was having even worse Braxton hicks! They were pretty intense. But sooooo inconsistent so I knew there was no point in going to the hospital. My husband works from 3 am to 1 pm so he went to sleep & suggested I go to the Relief Society fireside to keep my mind off of the possibility of going into labor. My sisters made it pretty fun because we were all so giddy with the fact that my contractions were getting bad. After the fireside I went home to my sleeping husband in quite a bit of discomfort. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. Then around 2 am my husband woke up to get ready for work & I was in a decent amount of pain. I told him I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to go to triage & they send me home. He told me he'd do whatever I wanted & if I needed to go while he was at work then to call my sisters to take me to the hospital. He went to work & I tried to sleep through the contractions. I woke up unable to ignore the contractions anymore around 8 am. I went to the bathroom to see a blood clot about the size of my hand come out. I was so freaked out! I'd lost my mucus plug the week before so I knew it wasn't that. I called my sister who I'd been texting to see what I should do. She said that usually meant my water was about to break & she was walking over (I have 3 siblings that live in my condo complex. Literally 5 minutes walking distance lol). So I called my mom and she advised I call my Dr. office to see if it was time to go to the hospital. I called them & they said it was my mucus plug. Once I informed them I'd already lost it, they said I needed to go to Labor and Delivery & they'd inform them that I was on my way. Then my sister, AnnMarie, arrived to help me gather last minute items to put in my hospital bag & called my husband and mom to come pick me up to go to the hospital. By this time it was about 10 am. We were waiting outside of our gate waiting for my mom. My contractions were about 2 minutes about and making it hard to stand. As we're waiting I see my brother exit the gate & drive off to work LOL. I thought that was so funny. Shortly after my mom showed up and picked me up & my sister helped get my bags into the car while I laid my robe on my mom's seat so I didn't maybe have my water break in my mom's brand new car LOL. We got to the hospital and were sitting in the Labor &
Delivery waiting area at around 10:30 am. I sat unable to truly comprehend that this baby might be (and was) coming. I felt in a daze and zoned out. My mom was giddy and trying to joke but I sat unable to focus. Just then a woman was wheeled in screaming in extreme pain. The L&D was packed that day but she surpassed us all because of the pain she was in.
I was finally brought into triage around 11 am when my husband showed up. He'd gotten the call while on a board and quickly hopped off and drove as fast as he could to the hospital. I was given a robe, socks, and a bag to put my clothes in. I went into the bathroom in so much pain that I called my husband in to help me put the robe on. Sadly, he couldn't figure it out so a nurse came in to help me LOL. I got into my bed (triage & all the delivery rooms were full by this time with a few more girls on their way) & started getting hooked up. We were waiting awhile until someone finally came in to check how far along I was. I was dilated to 4 cm and they started debating on if they should send me home or not. One of the nurses were so rude! She asked me "On a scale from 1 to 10, what is your pain?" I replied "Um, probably a 7." She chuckled a little and shook her head as she said "No, honey, I mean like 10 being the worst way you can imagine dying. 5 being you're crying and can't take it anymore." Then sat and waited for me to change my answer. I replied, very confused "I guess...a 3 or 4?" She then said she was going to go call my Dr. to see if they should keep me or send me home. Obviously, with my Dr. just seeing me and thinking I wouldn't make it past the weekend said I needed to definitely stay. They then said they were waiting for a delivery room to open up. One woman had a C-section & the other had an extremely bad tear where they needed to clean up from how bad it was. The contractions seemed to be getting more intense and painful. About 30 minutes into being in triage I began to sob saying to my husband, who would watch the monitor to see when a contraction was coming so he could squeeze my hand, "This hurts too bad. I can't do this". He'd lovingly say "Don't say that. Yes you can. You got this Whitney. You're strong". The pain was rapidly getting worse to where I finally said "I can't go natural, I need an epidural". I told Garrett I really wanted to go natural so he made sure that I was sure. When I was very sure I wanted an epidural he rushed out to tell the nurses. They said the guy was in a C-section and would be with us in 15 minutes. Well that was around 12:45 pm...suddenly my water broke. I told the nurses that my water broke and they said a room had just opened up. They rolled me in there and brought my mom in. The new nurse asked when I'd been checked last. The rude nurse said "Oh she just got checked." My mom looked at me and said "No you haven't. Weren't you checked over an hour ago?" I said yes. My mom tried telling them and they kept telling her that I had been and she just wasn't told. My mom kept insisting but they wouldn't believe her. Finally my mom looked at Garrett and said "Garrett they never listen to the mom of the woman in labor. You need to tell them that she hasn't been checked in over an hour!" Garrett yelled quickly "She hasn't been checked!" Right then I got the huge urge to pee. I told them I needed to pee and felt like I was going to pee myself and the nurse started helping me up to pee. Suddenly my mom said "Maybe you should check her before you let her go to the bathroom." The nurse was checking me when she looked at us wide eyed and said "Oh my. She's dilated to 10 cm. She's ready to push. I could feel the head."
I had a full panic attack. Suddenly, every horrible trial that my child could potentially have went through my head & I thought "I can't do this. I can't be a mom. I'm not strong enough." I say that I thought that but those words came right out of my mouth. I sobbed and looked at my mom as I said this. I said over and over again "I can't do this." as my mom smiled and said "Yes you can Whitney. You're already there!" I then looked to Garrett as he said "Whitney, you're doing so good!" My mom then reminded me that I needed to calm down because when I go into stress, so does the baby. I then looked at the nurses and said "Can I please get the epidural?!" To which they told me it was too late & they scrambled to get my connected to the antibiotics, because I was positive for Group B Strep. They'd already called my Dr. who was coming. But suddenly as I was informed I wouldn't be getting an epidural, I got the unstoppable urge to push so the on call Dr. came because of how close I was to pushing. They put my legs up and my mom looked down to see Hudson's head was crowning. I started pushing unable to stop as my mom said loudly "She's pushing! Is she allowed the push??" The Dr., who was on the other side of the room, said calmly "Yeah she's fine." My mom turned to the nurses and said "She wants her father in the room, should I call him up?" They replied, & I had heard this for the 3 millionth time that day, "Oh no. It's her first, she'll be pushing for another 5-6 hours." This was at about 1:00 pm. I started to seriously push because the urge couldn't be stopped. The Dr. was coaching me through it all but suddenly stopped and said "You need to stop pushing." I couldn't. I really couldn't. She started to say over and over "Please stop pushing. You need to stop. I tried but it was impossible at this point. 3 pushes from start to finish and Hudson was out. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his head twice so he was a little blue. But the Dr. slipped her fingers under it and flipped it off and then I heard the cry.
That first cry. I hold my sleeping month old as I write this. It brings tears to my eyes to write this. It was the most rewarding moment of my life. To go through so much pain and then it suddenly be erased from my memory as joy filled my whole body, mind, spirit, and soul. Hudson was then placed on my chest and I just sobbed. Nothing else mattered in the world but that little boy. He was perfect. He looked beautiful. He was an absolute angel from heaven sent to me. My whole world was laying on my chest and staring at me. I looked at my husband to see him crying and saying "I love you so much Whitney. You did amazing". I then looked at my mother to see her crying as well and saying "Whitney, I'm so proud of you. You did so good." My life was complete and perfect in this moment.
So I went into one of my Dr. appointments at 39 weeks and was checked to see how much I was dilated. I had been having some pretty intense Braxton hicks. My Dr. checked me and said I was 3 cm dilated. He was so excited & my Dr. isn't very expressive. But he excitedly told me Hudson's head was very low & my water was going to break at any moment now & I wouldn't make it past the weekend. Garrett and I nearly freaked out. Although I was trying not to get my hopes up. Both of my older sisters also went to my Dr. and one of my sister's was told she was dilated 3 cm but stayed there for 2 weeks. But my sister pointed out that I was farther along and was told Hudson was low and my water was going to break so it meant a little more.
For the rest of the day I was having even worse Braxton hicks! They were pretty intense. But sooooo inconsistent so I knew there was no point in going to the hospital. My husband works from 3 am to 1 pm so he went to sleep & suggested I go to the Relief Society fireside to keep my mind off of the possibility of going into labor. My sisters made it pretty fun because we were all so giddy with the fact that my contractions were getting bad. After the fireside I went home to my sleeping husband in quite a bit of discomfort. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. Then around 2 am my husband woke up to get ready for work & I was in a decent amount of pain. I told him I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to go to triage & they send me home. He told me he'd do whatever I wanted & if I needed to go while he was at work then to call my sisters to take me to the hospital. He went to work & I tried to sleep through the contractions. I woke up unable to ignore the contractions anymore around 8 am. I went to the bathroom to see a blood clot about the size of my hand come out. I was so freaked out! I'd lost my mucus plug the week before so I knew it wasn't that. I called my sister who I'd been texting to see what I should do. She said that usually meant my water was about to break & she was walking over (I have 3 siblings that live in my condo complex. Literally 5 minutes walking distance lol). So I called my mom and she advised I call my Dr. office to see if it was time to go to the hospital. I called them & they said it was my mucus plug. Once I informed them I'd already lost it, they said I needed to go to Labor and Delivery & they'd inform them that I was on my way. Then my sister, AnnMarie, arrived to help me gather last minute items to put in my hospital bag & called my husband and mom to come pick me up to go to the hospital. By this time it was about 10 am. We were waiting outside of our gate waiting for my mom. My contractions were about 2 minutes about and making it hard to stand. As we're waiting I see my brother exit the gate & drive off to work LOL. I thought that was so funny. Shortly after my mom showed up and picked me up & my sister helped get my bags into the car while I laid my robe on my mom's seat so I didn't maybe have my water break in my mom's brand new car LOL. We got to the hospital and were sitting in the Labor &
Delivery waiting area at around 10:30 am. I sat unable to truly comprehend that this baby might be (and was) coming. I felt in a daze and zoned out. My mom was giddy and trying to joke but I sat unable to focus. Just then a woman was wheeled in screaming in extreme pain. The L&D was packed that day but she surpassed us all because of the pain she was in.
I was finally brought into triage around 11 am when my husband showed up. He'd gotten the call while on a board and quickly hopped off and drove as fast as he could to the hospital. I was given a robe, socks, and a bag to put my clothes in. I went into the bathroom in so much pain that I called my husband in to help me put the robe on. Sadly, he couldn't figure it out so a nurse came in to help me LOL. I got into my bed (triage & all the delivery rooms were full by this time with a few more girls on their way) & started getting hooked up. We were waiting awhile until someone finally came in to check how far along I was. I was dilated to 4 cm and they started debating on if they should send me home or not. One of the nurses were so rude! She asked me "On a scale from 1 to 10, what is your pain?" I replied "Um, probably a 7." She chuckled a little and shook her head as she said "No, honey, I mean like 10 being the worst way you can imagine dying. 5 being you're crying and can't take it anymore." Then sat and waited for me to change my answer. I replied, very confused "I guess...a 3 or 4?" She then said she was going to go call my Dr. to see if they should keep me or send me home. Obviously, with my Dr. just seeing me and thinking I wouldn't make it past the weekend said I needed to definitely stay. They then said they were waiting for a delivery room to open up. One woman had a C-section & the other had an extremely bad tear where they needed to clean up from how bad it was. The contractions seemed to be getting more intense and painful. About 30 minutes into being in triage I began to sob saying to my husband, who would watch the monitor to see when a contraction was coming so he could squeeze my hand, "This hurts too bad. I can't do this". He'd lovingly say "Don't say that. Yes you can. You got this Whitney. You're strong". The pain was rapidly getting worse to where I finally said "I can't go natural, I need an epidural". I told Garrett I really wanted to go natural so he made sure that I was sure. When I was very sure I wanted an epidural he rushed out to tell the nurses. They said the guy was in a C-section and would be with us in 15 minutes. Well that was around 12:45 pm...suddenly my water broke. I told the nurses that my water broke and they said a room had just opened up. They rolled me in there and brought my mom in. The new nurse asked when I'd been checked last. The rude nurse said "Oh she just got checked." My mom looked at me and said "No you haven't. Weren't you checked over an hour ago?" I said yes. My mom tried telling them and they kept telling her that I had been and she just wasn't told. My mom kept insisting but they wouldn't believe her. Finally my mom looked at Garrett and said "Garrett they never listen to the mom of the woman in labor. You need to tell them that she hasn't been checked in over an hour!" Garrett yelled quickly "She hasn't been checked!" Right then I got the huge urge to pee. I told them I needed to pee and felt like I was going to pee myself and the nurse started helping me up to pee. Suddenly my mom said "Maybe you should check her before you let her go to the bathroom." The nurse was checking me when she looked at us wide eyed and said "Oh my. She's dilated to 10 cm. She's ready to push. I could feel the head."
I had a full panic attack. Suddenly, every horrible trial that my child could potentially have went through my head & I thought "I can't do this. I can't be a mom. I'm not strong enough." I say that I thought that but those words came right out of my mouth. I sobbed and looked at my mom as I said this. I said over and over again "I can't do this." as my mom smiled and said "Yes you can Whitney. You're already there!" I then looked to Garrett as he said "Whitney, you're doing so good!" My mom then reminded me that I needed to calm down because when I go into stress, so does the baby. I then looked at the nurses and said "Can I please get the epidural?!" To which they told me it was too late & they scrambled to get my connected to the antibiotics, because I was positive for Group B Strep. They'd already called my Dr. who was coming. But suddenly as I was informed I wouldn't be getting an epidural, I got the unstoppable urge to push so the on call Dr. came because of how close I was to pushing. They put my legs up and my mom looked down to see Hudson's head was crowning. I started pushing unable to stop as my mom said loudly "She's pushing! Is she allowed the push??" The Dr., who was on the other side of the room, said calmly "Yeah she's fine." My mom turned to the nurses and said "She wants her father in the room, should I call him up?" They replied, & I had heard this for the 3 millionth time that day, "Oh no. It's her first, she'll be pushing for another 5-6 hours." This was at about 1:00 pm. I started to seriously push because the urge couldn't be stopped. The Dr. was coaching me through it all but suddenly stopped and said "You need to stop pushing." I couldn't. I really couldn't. She started to say over and over "Please stop pushing. You need to stop. I tried but it was impossible at this point. 3 pushes from start to finish and Hudson was out. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his head twice so he was a little blue. But the Dr. slipped her fingers under it and flipped it off and then I heard the cry.
That first cry. I hold my sleeping month old as I write this. It brings tears to my eyes to write this. It was the most rewarding moment of my life. To go through so much pain and then it suddenly be erased from my memory as joy filled my whole body, mind, spirit, and soul. Hudson was then placed on my chest and I just sobbed. Nothing else mattered in the world but that little boy. He was perfect. He looked beautiful. He was an absolute angel from heaven sent to me. My whole world was laying on my chest and staring at me. I looked at my husband to see him crying and saying "I love you so much Whitney. You did amazing". I then looked at my mother to see her crying as well and saying "Whitney, I'm so proud of you. You did so good." My life was complete and perfect in this moment.
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