A Typical Mother's Day Post
It's mother's day and it's a day to reflect and appreciate our mothers. But I'd like to just speak to women in general today. We have mothering from the time we're little. Some women prepare they're whole lives to become a mother and sadly never become mother's but are mothers to those around them. Some women are mother's who never knew they wanted to even be a mother until they were a mother. Some women are mother's but never quite feel good enough or that they deserve what they have. Some women aren't mother's yet but are preparing themselves for that phase of they're lives. But nonetheless, this post is for you.
Being a mother is literally putting someone's life into your hands. So no wonder we all think we're failing. We have the closest glimpse of what Heavenly Father's love for us feels like and we want the absolute best for them. But at the same time we're humans who mess up. We fail daily but have to get back up immediately and try again. So why is it so hard to just go easy on ourselves? Well for one, because it sometimes feels like no one else goes easy on us. We are judged constantly(and most of the time we're judging other mother's too), we're being analyzed for our child's actions, and everything is always our fault. Let's be honest here! Mom's get blamed for EVERYTHING! If we have our own personal struggles and our kid goes to church in a dirty outfit because we didn't feel like changing them for the 20th time that day, people sit and say "That poor boy came to church in a dirty outfit. Ugh. Woooooow...". How can we go easy when it's so obvious what we're up against?
What happens when you do care about what other people think? We always hear "Don't worry about what others think!" But I always wonder "But what if you do?" Here is my only advice, listen to those with a full and clear picture of your situation. I read a story about a woman seeing a mom and her son in the parking lot of a grocery store. The son was throwing a fit and the mom was basically forcing him into the car. The woman watching was stunned and thought "What a terrible mom. Not even dealing with her son's tantrum and just shoving him into the car. He probably doesn't get much attention." And her thoughts went on and on about what the mom was doing wrong. She ended up calling the cops because she began being worried about the child's safety and well-being. When the cops arrived the struggling mom looked relieved. The cops went to the woman who called and asked who her report was about. She pointed out the mother and son when the cops turned back and said "Oh yes. That's Mary. Her son Lucas is autistic and throws very bad tantrums to the point of hitting his mother Mary. He doesn't realize he's hurting her. We come often to help her out when he's really bad." Suddenly that woman went from judging this mother to feeling sorry for this sweet and undoubtedly tired mother.
Moral of the story, give mom's a break. Whether it's your own mom. The mom in church behind you who is a mom. Or if it's the mom looking back at you in the mirror. We're all just doing the best we can. Yeah, sometimes PB&J's are what I'm feeding my kid today because he won't eat anything else. And I'll still look at the mom's around me feeding their kids organic quinoa blah blah blah and feel like I'm failing, but I'll stop myself and try to change those thoughts. Because I'm doing the best I can, and my kid will thank me for being the mom HE needed. Not the mom the kid next door needed.
You're doing a great job. You know deep down that you are. You're kid is alive with a full belly just loving the life they live. And you should too. You're child will only be this age once, and that's all that matters. So take a moment to tell yourself "I'm gonna miss this" even if you're kid is rolling on the floor throwing a tantrum because you won't let her eat another Popsicle. I'm proud of the mother you are. I see how hard you work to NEVER get a simple "thank you". You're doing the most selfless work a person can do. Not only that, but you created a life. An accomplishment that you share with the everlasting God of Heaven and Earth. Be proud creator, you did good.
Being a mother is literally putting someone's life into your hands. So no wonder we all think we're failing. We have the closest glimpse of what Heavenly Father's love for us feels like and we want the absolute best for them. But at the same time we're humans who mess up. We fail daily but have to get back up immediately and try again. So why is it so hard to just go easy on ourselves? Well for one, because it sometimes feels like no one else goes easy on us. We are judged constantly(and most of the time we're judging other mother's too), we're being analyzed for our child's actions, and everything is always our fault. Let's be honest here! Mom's get blamed for EVERYTHING! If we have our own personal struggles and our kid goes to church in a dirty outfit because we didn't feel like changing them for the 20th time that day, people sit and say "That poor boy came to church in a dirty outfit. Ugh. Woooooow...". How can we go easy when it's so obvious what we're up against?
What happens when you do care about what other people think? We always hear "Don't worry about what others think!" But I always wonder "But what if you do?" Here is my only advice, listen to those with a full and clear picture of your situation. I read a story about a woman seeing a mom and her son in the parking lot of a grocery store. The son was throwing a fit and the mom was basically forcing him into the car. The woman watching was stunned and thought "What a terrible mom. Not even dealing with her son's tantrum and just shoving him into the car. He probably doesn't get much attention." And her thoughts went on and on about what the mom was doing wrong. She ended up calling the cops because she began being worried about the child's safety and well-being. When the cops arrived the struggling mom looked relieved. The cops went to the woman who called and asked who her report was about. She pointed out the mother and son when the cops turned back and said "Oh yes. That's Mary. Her son Lucas is autistic and throws very bad tantrums to the point of hitting his mother Mary. He doesn't realize he's hurting her. We come often to help her out when he's really bad." Suddenly that woman went from judging this mother to feeling sorry for this sweet and undoubtedly tired mother.
Moral of the story, give mom's a break. Whether it's your own mom. The mom in church behind you who is a mom. Or if it's the mom looking back at you in the mirror. We're all just doing the best we can. Yeah, sometimes PB&J's are what I'm feeding my kid today because he won't eat anything else. And I'll still look at the mom's around me feeding their kids organic quinoa blah blah blah and feel like I'm failing, but I'll stop myself and try to change those thoughts. Because I'm doing the best I can, and my kid will thank me for being the mom HE needed. Not the mom the kid next door needed.
You're doing a great job. You know deep down that you are. You're kid is alive with a full belly just loving the life they live. And you should too. You're child will only be this age once, and that's all that matters. So take a moment to tell yourself "I'm gonna miss this" even if you're kid is rolling on the floor throwing a tantrum because you won't let her eat another Popsicle. I'm proud of the mother you are. I see how hard you work to NEVER get a simple "thank you". You're doing the most selfless work a person can do. Not only that, but you created a life. An accomplishment that you share with the everlasting God of Heaven and Earth. Be proud creator, you did good.
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