The Illusion of a Lifetime
We live in the digital age, where people depend their worth by likes & followers. It's sad isn't it? Doesn't it sometimes make you wonder, will it ever end? How did we get here? How is it that some people go a whole day without even interacting without having a real face-to-face interaction with another fellow human? Yet that is the world we live in. Parents must learn how to manage every aspect of a computer just to keep their kids out of the dangers the internet can bring to them.
So why is my title "The Illusion of a Lifetime"? Because there a huge, deceitful, and extremely harmful illusion we face today. It isn't discriminating of race, gender, religion, ect., it effects us all. It is the illusion of pure bliss in our lives. It's the illusion of perfection. It's showing your kids looking so happy and in harmony with each other. It's you posting a "candid" photo of you and your partner looking more in love than ever w/ a quote about how perfect your relationship is. I have LITERALLY seen post after post of this "First year of marriage down! They say the first year in the hardest, but the only thing we've fought about is (insert the smallest fight you can imagine here). My husband is so perfect!" Or they barely post wanting people to buy the illusion that they're so busy and popular to post on social media. Believe me, I've heard people say they don't want to post to close together because that's "pathetic".
Think about the mother struggling to make it through the day seeing that "perfect child" post? Think about the wife, dealing with addiction, abuse, or clashing personalities in her marriage seeing your "perfect marriage"? I've had friends who have been going through a hard time in their marriage & yet I see post about how "happy" they are. The illusion is everywhere. We've programmed ourselves and in turn everyone else that being depressed, sad, annoyed, frustrated, stressed, or anxious as an ugly emotion. That it's somehow wrong to show those emotions. I've noticed on my own social media that if I post a cute pic with my husband and boy and say how much I love them, I get 4 comments within an hour of posting! But if I post a picture of my son saying I've had a hard day but feel proud I pulled through, I get no comments anymore. I sometimes barely get a like.
We teach each other that our "dirty laundry" doesn't need to be broadcast. But since when is sharing our emotions with others our "dirty laundry"? How backwards is that? Sharing each others burdens are suddenly aren't as important as getting that illusion across that our lives are just so perfect & magical. Watch this TED Talk about how we've made these emotions such as anxiety, depression, stress out to be "wrong" or "bad" emotions when they all serve a great purpose: https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=social-science .
Let me give you a newsflash everyone! No one's marriage, parenting style, kids, or financial situation ISN'T perfect! In fact, most people are barely holding on in most of those categories! Garrett and I barely hung onto our marriage. We have had good times and bad times. We've had moments of crisis where we really looked into ourselves and evaluated "Can we make it through this?" It's been scary. Marriage is scary. You're blending your whole life with another individual's life. Someone who has been raised differently than you, has a completely different personality than yours, who's ideals, passions, dreams, and goals are different than yours.
Of course marriage, parenting, and finances are a blessing because of what they teach you and the oh so sweet moments that they come with. I can say honestly that everyday I look at Garrett and Hudson (on different occasions) thinking of how lucky I am for them. Garrett makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. Maybe it's because I think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen, but he can make me giggle! Hudson is the perfect son in every way, shape, and form. He has made me the happiest I've ever been. I'm eternally grateful for both of them blessing my life everyday.
So why can't we all just be a little more authentic on social media? Why can't we let go of that fear of what people think of us? Today, can we all just try to be a little more real. Speak our truths to the world and to ourselves?
You, the way you are in every instance, are amazing. You don't need to put up this facade of perfection. It doesn't exists, and it never will. If you're sad, be sad. If you're anxious, be anxious. Let the world see the real you. You don't need to hide. Like in the greatest showman "This is brave. This is bruised. This is who I'm meant to be. This is me." Be who you are and don't let anyone make you feel like showing those emotions are bad. You give people the opportunity to reach out and create a bond and be an emotional support to you. You are brave for the things you face everyday. Never forget how special you are. You are special. And when you can't find anyone to care, listen, or be there for you know that I will be there. Always.
So why is my title "The Illusion of a Lifetime"? Because there a huge, deceitful, and extremely harmful illusion we face today. It isn't discriminating of race, gender, religion, ect., it effects us all. It is the illusion of pure bliss in our lives. It's the illusion of perfection. It's showing your kids looking so happy and in harmony with each other. It's you posting a "candid" photo of you and your partner looking more in love than ever w/ a quote about how perfect your relationship is. I have LITERALLY seen post after post of this "First year of marriage down! They say the first year in the hardest, but the only thing we've fought about is (insert the smallest fight you can imagine here). My husband is so perfect!" Or they barely post wanting people to buy the illusion that they're so busy and popular to post on social media. Believe me, I've heard people say they don't want to post to close together because that's "pathetic".
Think about the mother struggling to make it through the day seeing that "perfect child" post? Think about the wife, dealing with addiction, abuse, or clashing personalities in her marriage seeing your "perfect marriage"? I've had friends who have been going through a hard time in their marriage & yet I see post about how "happy" they are. The illusion is everywhere. We've programmed ourselves and in turn everyone else that being depressed, sad, annoyed, frustrated, stressed, or anxious as an ugly emotion. That it's somehow wrong to show those emotions. I've noticed on my own social media that if I post a cute pic with my husband and boy and say how much I love them, I get 4 comments within an hour of posting! But if I post a picture of my son saying I've had a hard day but feel proud I pulled through, I get no comments anymore. I sometimes barely get a like.
We teach each other that our "dirty laundry" doesn't need to be broadcast. But since when is sharing our emotions with others our "dirty laundry"? How backwards is that? Sharing each others burdens are suddenly aren't as important as getting that illusion across that our lives are just so perfect & magical. Watch this TED Talk about how we've made these emotions such as anxiety, depression, stress out to be "wrong" or "bad" emotions when they all serve a great purpose: https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=social-science .
Let me give you a newsflash everyone! No one's marriage, parenting style, kids, or financial situation ISN'T perfect! In fact, most people are barely holding on in most of those categories! Garrett and I barely hung onto our marriage. We have had good times and bad times. We've had moments of crisis where we really looked into ourselves and evaluated "Can we make it through this?" It's been scary. Marriage is scary. You're blending your whole life with another individual's life. Someone who has been raised differently than you, has a completely different personality than yours, who's ideals, passions, dreams, and goals are different than yours.
Of course marriage, parenting, and finances are a blessing because of what they teach you and the oh so sweet moments that they come with. I can say honestly that everyday I look at Garrett and Hudson (on different occasions) thinking of how lucky I am for them. Garrett makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. Maybe it's because I think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen, but he can make me giggle! Hudson is the perfect son in every way, shape, and form. He has made me the happiest I've ever been. I'm eternally grateful for both of them blessing my life everyday.
So why can't we all just be a little more authentic on social media? Why can't we let go of that fear of what people think of us? Today, can we all just try to be a little more real. Speak our truths to the world and to ourselves?
You, the way you are in every instance, are amazing. You don't need to put up this facade of perfection. It doesn't exists, and it never will. If you're sad, be sad. If you're anxious, be anxious. Let the world see the real you. You don't need to hide. Like in the greatest showman "This is brave. This is bruised. This is who I'm meant to be. This is me." Be who you are and don't let anyone make you feel like showing those emotions are bad. You give people the opportunity to reach out and create a bond and be an emotional support to you. You are brave for the things you face everyday. Never forget how special you are. You are special. And when you can't find anyone to care, listen, or be there for you know that I will be there. Always.
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