Piece By Piece

             I don't know about you, but Kelly Clarkson has got to be one of my most favorite artist of all time. Of course no one will trump Barbra Streisand for me. But Kelly just may be a close 3rd. 2nd being Nsync...yes I still jam out to them any chance I get! Anyways, back on topic. Kelly has a song she released in her second most recent album called "Piece by piece". I just love it. If you haven't listened to it, please do. It tells about her dad abandoning her and how he messed up her view on men. But that her husband "piece by piece" showed her what a real man was. Now you may be wondering, Whitney why are you writing about this when you have a present and VERY loving, supportive father? Well it has nothing to do with my dad. I guess, maybe a little. But it's more of a bragging about my dad tbh! But this post is mainly about my husband and the love I have for who he is. Now let's begin with a backstory!

             I'm sure whoever knew me in high school thought I hated life! My junior and senior year, I really hated high school. But I am positive no one knew why. No one bothered to try and find out why though. They just avoided me. I hated high school because everyday I went, I got sexually harassed. We had this big open area in between all the classrooms that mainly everyone would congregate at. I dreaded the layout of my high school for the fact that this area was unavoidable. Everyday I had to dodge some guy grabbing me, catcalling me, make disgusting comments about what they wanted to do with me, and followed to class. I have always been VERY curvy. I had never met anyone else who was as curvy as me, except my sister AnnMarie. I never thought it'd be an issue because everyone was obsessed with being skinny. I knew I wouldn't be. I'd tried so many things. I'd accepted that being "skinny" wouldn't work for my body. I wasn't going to fight my natural shape to conform to society version of beauty. 

             The harassment didn't end there though. I had older guys try to hit on me. But the weirdest experience I had was when I went to EFY. I had never gone before and truly didn't see what the fuss was about. I was older than everyone else, I was 17 about to turn 18. I noticed that my male counselor would always be around me and my group of friends. But didn't really think much of it, because he was our counselor. Then after the last night of EFY I got home to see a friend request and FB message from said male counselor...asking me for my number. For weeks friendly conversations would turn into him telling me how it was hard for him to not look at me. And asking me to come up to Utah to see him. Him trying to set up plans for him to come down to Vegas. What are you supposed to think about that? Wasn't EFY supposed to be a time where you're care-free and getting spiritual? 

             Then Singles Ward...oh singles ward. By this time, I was very cynical. I figured every guy was just a pervert. I had a hard time understanding though. My dad is amazing! He always tells me how beautiful I was. How I was such a strong woman. He is the most respectful man I've ever known. He always would drop everything and anything when I needed something. Even, dessert lol. But singles ward was no different than my experiences with men. I even had a loser basically lead me into a full blown relationship(telling me he was "over" his ex who'd dumped him b/c she didn't love him anymore) then drop me for his ex. Telling everyone that I was "crazy" and would be concerned if I didn't hear form him for 2 days. Well? I was led to believe we were in a relationship! Poor girl who married him. He's a scum to me. But I'm not bitter ;p(I often think, what was I thinking?! I wasn't even attracted to him! Makes me cringe thinking about it). 

             I'd had it with men. I decided to move my membership records back into my parents ward. I had then become a primary teacher to the kids 7 turning 8 years old. I loved it. Then my sister, who was still in singles ward, had a lesson and wanted someone there who'd honestly tell her if she did good or not. I went and met my husband. I was well-known in singles ward so I felt like "I'm out of here. I don't give a crap anymore!" I walked into the sunday school room just chipper as can be! When I saw a hottie w/ a beard sitting in the back. I knew he was Garrett Hawk. I heard he'd recently returned from his mission and was in a long distance relationship with a Filipino girl(which I was wrong about lol). Man oh man, though. I wasn't intimidated by guys anymore. But golly, he was like a model out of GQ to me! (He's even better than those weirdos now!) I walked past him and said "Hey, you're that Hawk guy, right?" Well say that fast and it sounds like "Hey, you're that HOT guy, right?" LOL I wasn't even embarrassed! But 2 weeks later we saw each other again and couldn't get away! We suddenly were hanging out every night of the week! 

             We have now been together for almost 3 years and have a beautiful son. But the point of this story? My husband was NOTHING like the men I'd encountered. I was never truly treated with respect by guys. Until I met my husband. When we were dating he'd come to my work, wait for an hour in the waiting room(he was a mechanic waiting in a law office's waiting room. Shows how much he loved me) just to follow me home because he know I got anxious driving home. He would take me out to lunch. He would bring me treats on his lunch break. He was constantly showing me how much he loved me. One time he took me star gazing and presented me with a paper mache forget me not. No guy had ever asked what my favorite flower was! Here he was making me one that could last forever. I still have it. 

             When we got married I realized, Garrett had never touched me inappropriately. He'd never jokingly touched my butt. Never tried anything. I couldn't believe it! He had never done it, and now here we were married and I was fine with it now! When I'd asked him why he didn't do certain things, his response? "It's not mine to touch." WHAT? Where did this guy come from?! Wherever he was from, I was amazed! I was beginning to think my brothers and dad were just a special breed or something! Until I met my husband. 

             To you girls who like me thought that men touching you was just inevitable? DON'T SETTLE FOR THAT! I am here to tell you, REAL men don't do that! They respect you! They show you that they are attracted to you, in romantic ways! Ways that make you feel something, not them! I never thought I'd meet a guy like my dad, but I did. The good ones are out there. They will make you feel like queens. Garrett makes me happier than I ever imagined! You can luck out, because I sure did. Another thing, don't let a man talk down to you, disrespect you, humiliate you, yell at you, or verbally assault you! My husband and I have literally argued, once. He has never picked fights with me. He has never raised his voice at me. He has never called me anything disrespectful. There has been many occasions where I've TRIED so hard to argue with him. And he still does nothing but lovingly speak to me and reminds me of his love for me. Don't settle! Please! Find someone who will give you the love you deserve! You WILL find it!