The Old Fashion Wife

          I find it extremely funny that I write in here knowing no one will see. I don't know, maybe someday. I find it even funnier that I am going to write about a personal experience that I don't really like sharing. I do have an extremely low self-esteem about my personality so sharing my experience is hard for me because I'm scared of what others think of me. I've been struggling with depression for a long time. I've had ups and downs but I still struggle to find the thing to bring me out of it. I had a traumatic experience when I was younger that I NEVER talk about. I haven't told ANYONE. I told my husband earlier this year. I'm so thankful I opened up to him when I did.           In high school my personality took a turn for the worst. For so long I was happy, spunky, outgoing, and bubbly to be around. Yet in high school my best friend Jisu moved back to Korea, my sister emily(aka my rock) soon after left for 18 months to serve ...

          My oh my. The world is a messed up place. It just sucks sometimes. Something I read on FB this week just made my blood boil. I absolutely adore my husband. He is amazing. He has so many undeniably christ-like attributes. Some that would be excruciating to learn or obtain. He has been blessed with so many amazing attributes and personality traits. I was scrolling through FB and my brother had commented on a status. This status deeply offended me. It was the meme of a man's hands all dirty from working on a car & on the meme it said "If your boyfriends hands never look like this, than you're dating a girl" and the post to go with it was "If your boyfriends hands never look like this...you probably have a real man who went to school and got a great job to provide for you so that he never had to do that... so... yeah..." That infuriated me. I was offended because my husband is about to go to school to become a mechanic.         ...

          I had this concept brought to my attention that I had never put a name to. It's one I have a feeling most people understand and do. My husband told me when we were dating that he had scenario that would run through his head from time to time. At first when he told me this my thought was "...WHAT?!" He gave me examples when they'd go through his head. He told me this because we went on road trips a lot when we were dating. So when he was driving he would think of these scenarios. Last night I had an epiphany! I do it too! But my thoughts were different. I would go through what I would say to people in situations. Mine happens mainly in the shower haha.           Why do we do things like that? Why would we sit and wonder about things that we probably experienced already? I thinks it's because we wish so badly to act in a way that isn't in our nature. Some people can speak their minds and honestly say it how they want. But most p...